Back in the USSR

not quite - back in hong kong* but isnt that a billy joel song? i do think it is...

not much to report other than i am terribly homesick. spending time back in manhattan, i am reminded of everything i love and then i return to hong kong and i am reminded of how it is not even close to manhattan. i really did not want to get on that plane from newark and have been at the brink of tears ever since.

and my homesickness is compounded by the fact that i HATE my job. i became bored with my job ages ago but i stuck because i loved the people. now that those wonderful people have been replaced by non-wonderful (i am being nice) people, then one needs to ask oneself - "what am i doing here?" and yes, i've asked myself many times.

id like to close this post with a picture of a slightly shorter woman on the bathroom sign. yes, people TIA - this is asia - women are the lesser sex.

Happy Christmas!

back stateside! driving into manhattan, i was reminded again about how much i do love that city. and i am going to be in a match.com commercial in january-hahaaha!

i am officially on a detox over the next week plus. i seriously need it as i am getting a bit too "thick" in the midsection. check out a photo from the hk christmas party of me looking like i'm about to vomit on my friend....

Lunch Time Nap Rears Its Ugly Face Again

last night was the hk christmas party...OH...MY...GOD...i ended up going to a really cool sake bar in causeway bay. too bad everyone was too drunk to know the name of it.

Time to get Out of Dogde

i am really needing a break. today is a bad work day. i need to get away from these bloody people for a bit.

Professionalism

i must say, i have never worked in such an entertaining environment before. today we had another blowout. there have been many but i have not written about them until now because to outsiders, i dont think it would be as good but this one, this one was priceless!

so a manager is off on a business trip this afternoon and suggested to a coworker that she get him a meeting so he could go see them in person. as of this morning, she still had not made any effort to contact the company. they went back and forth a few rounds and then it eventually exploded. it all kind of went like this:

manager: did you call XYZ Company and set up a meeting?
coworker: no because they were on holiday yesterday.
m: ok, well you could have emailed since they probably all have blackberries
cw: i dont know so i didnt do it.
m: i am trying to help you - why didnt you do what i asked you to do?
cw: OK! i will do it now!
m: i am just trying to get a meeting for you. they all have blackberries so there is no reason why you shouldnt have contacted them
cw: well i dont know. when you meet with them you and ask them yourself if they have blackberries
this went for a few more rounds and escalated until
m: lets go into the conference room and talk about this
at this point "cw" was now loud enough for the entire office to hear
cw: no, i do not want to
m: lets go, i do not want to talk about it out here
"cw" now stands up and demands
cw: i do not WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!
and sits down again
cw: do whatever you need, give me disciplinary whatever, disciplinary notice but i will not go in there
m: lets go now. you are directly disobeying a direct order and making this worse
cw: i dont want to go in there because we will get into a fight
m: i am not discussing this out here
cw: we are going to fight, we may as well just do it out here...
this dragged on for a bit until they finally went into the conference room to yell at each other in there.
and when a senior manager was asked to help intervene at one point, he said, "not interested".

hahahahaha - oh baby jesus, do i REALLY work here? it has to be a joke. i have NEVER worked in a place where yelling at your coworkers is completely tolerated. if i were the manager i would have grabbed that person by the scruff and tossed 'em out the door. but then again, maybe that is why i am not the manager ;)

maybe you had to be here.

Firsts...

i will miss another tofurkey day since i am in hong kong (obviously). the last tofurkey day i missed was back in 2002 when i was living in london. it was dreadful because i had JUST moved and i had no friends. however, this time around i have been here for 5 - thats right FIVE - months now and i actually have friends this time around. believe it or not...its true. an americana friend of mine and her aussie husband are hosting a lovely meal on thursday and i am very much so looking forward to it. i am bringing my brit mate who is very excited for his first thanksgiving and we are going to be amongst a bunch of aussies...go figure.

anyway, i had a lovely week with my friend in town. the only thing is with the current market conditions we were relegated to the marriott instead of the four seasons, sadly, and the marriott is less than nice...especially compared to the four seasons. however, it was another great week and we even hit up macau! we went to the exhibition match of mcenroe, borg, federrer and blake. it was lots of fun but the trip to macau is a bit of a headache. but we also went to the peak. we had dinner at pearl on the peak and is was DELISH.

here are two pics, one of my friend's boyfriend spilling beer on himself and me laughing at him at the tennis and the other i took from our TABLE at the restaurant (we had the best table in the place, by the way - it was corner with a magnificent view)...


































and then this saturday, i took a trip to disneyland with a mate. it was fun and really cute but very small and in comparison to disneyworld...it was kinda sad. nonetheless, i had a great time :)

all in all - a GREAT week of firsts.

Pictures worth a Thousand Words

these first two are of me, a friend and some famous kiwi ruggers from two weekends ago at the bledisloe cup. i have no clue who the dudes are but i do know they are HUGE. i have never been so close to a man that large before in my entire life. (now dont go down the x-rated path on me) but in all honesty, it is so overwhelming- the one on my right was just so big its almost a bit scary - intimidating at least. again, the weekend was LOTS of fun and seeing the haka live for the first time was beyond words incredible...

the these other two are from a ny colleague's visit to the hk office. as you can see it was full of the usual antics...


on saturday i went mountain biking for the first time ever (yes, my bum still hurts) and i went to the cricket 6s on sunday which i LOVED. its a shortened test match (none of that 5 day crapola) and is a lot like american baseball. it was lots of fun - big hits, beer, food and outdoor action! i could defo get into cricket...

outside of work has been a blast but work itself has sucked hairy swollen ball sacks. i think the tail end of work last week was by far the worst couple of days of my life. i am so stressed out and unhappy in work, my hair has been falling out in clumps....

What? WHAT? Did THAT Really Just Happen?

i brought soy milk into work and i put my initials on it so people would not think it was communal. i can share but i dont want everyone just thinking they can polish it off. so i go into the kitchen this morning, pour my cereal and the soy milk and immediately think it looks funny. i tucked in to find that it was all watery and gross. clearly someone used some, which is fine, but dont ruin the rest of it by adding in water. fuckers.

sometimes it is just too much for me to handle...

Halloween Weddings

happy halloween, my americano friends!

i dressed up last week because i have a wedding to go to tonight and a friend had a party a week early. now, anyone who knows me, knows that i do NOT like getting dressed up for halloween. and it entirely has to do with the fact that cheap flammable "sexy cop" or "sexy witch" or "sexy medieval maiden" are all about 80 USD and you wear it once. so what did i go as? the "walk of shame". yep, thats right - i like to keep it classy. i wore one ripped thigh high, messed up my hair and makeup and drew a hickey in on my neck. pure class...with a capital k - Klassy...whatever, dont judge.

so yes, this is the wedding (http://www.mywedding.com/seungahsimon/) i am attending ce soir but i will have to call it an early night because i have a bike ride early tomorrow morning in the new territories as well as the bledisloe cup on saturday. and since i dont want to be barfing my way around the new territories on a bike, it should be an early one, kids.

and between the wedding and the bledisloe, i am sure to have loads of snaps. again, two words:

DAN
CARTER

(now swoon...)

Nnotes from Another B-Trip, Next Stop Manila!

when i told someone in the states that i was heading here they said, “oh, i am so jealous.” and for a moment, albeit brief, i thought i should be so lucky. i get to go to all these exotic places and travel for free – how freaking cool is that? well, it is cool if i had time to do something fun. my only down time consists of an extra 20 minutes in starbucks where i can have another snack i dont need with another chai tea latte i dont need. or there is downtime at night where i am trapped inside the hotel because i dont want to be kidnapped and forced into a sex ring or forced to ride the pole. but speaking of starbucks, all of them have armed guards at the door (come to think of it all buildings in manila have heavily armed men at them) but starbucks? because that is necessary? well, he is at starbucks and he has a huge gun and his name is jose. also, there is a dude outside the window with a small sign on the ground that reads “we buy empty cartons”. it seems like they buy empty cigarette cartons and…do…what with them? make a small house? what would they do with them? and to boot, it seems all the starbucks employees are in the back having some sort of rally as I am hearing cheering and laughter and general ruckus. according to my first meeting, that must be the “latin” side of filipinos – the side that “doesnt want to work too hard”. his words, not mine.

admittedly, i do love (in the hate sort of love way) the cabs in these developing countries. everywhere i have been in south east asia, i have taken some seriously dodgy cabs and manila is no exception. the cabs here are these run down looking white dodge neons with what looks like some sharpie action on the side that reads “taxi 632 1441”. i kid you not – i think they shapie-ed on their taxi sign. i only took one non-hotel taxi and it was gross. i might have caught some sort of fungus but i am praying not as i dont have health insurance yet. and yes, it is because i am too lazy to fill out the forms…

i do have to say, this city is fairly interesting in its genetic makeup as it was spanish conquered but obviously in asia. the people are this hybrid of eurasians but look kinda mexican to me. also, most of them have spanish names so it is fun to rock up and meet ricardo salazar and it is this 5 foot 5 140 lbs asian man standing in front of me. come to think of it, it is probably what people think when the meet me and find an asian chick…if it is called a duck, sounds like a duck and acts like a duck but doesnt look a duck…then what the heck is it? clearly not white meat.

and sadly since all i see really are the airports on these trips – let me comment on this for a minute…the one in manila is like a bus station and no i am not exaggerating. literally they use the same tv monitors and someone actually walks around yelling “singapore air, singapore air – last call for singapore air” before the bus leaves the station…err, the plane takes off. magical, friends , truly magical. but i do have to say my favorite is when you leave, you have to pay about 15 usd to get out. in indonesia, you have to pay to get in and i think paying on the way out makes so much more sense as youre itching to get out so bad you dont care how much it is or that you have to exchange monies again. but i did make friends with my driver on the way out to the airport and he was telling me about all the beautiful beaches to go to…yeah, i could definitely handle that. we are talking boracai or palawan here my friends…bring on the sandy white beaches and the clear water!

Manner-isms

it wouldnt be work if something didnt operate properly. today the phones are down. we cannot make any outgoing calls nor can we receive any incoming calls. there is nothing better than a newsroom without phones...no interviews to hold, no sales calls to make - cool. so as others go out for coffee or to do an ever important "errand" or socialize, i would like to discuss something uniquely hong kong - bad manners.

in first place and a personal favorite of mine is: some people will come up to you, stop and stare at you in the middle of the sidewalk instead of moving a bit to the left or the right.
yes, i am serious. people can be so rude here. often times you can be going down the street and your path will cross someone else's. instead of you both diverging, the person will come right into your face, stop and stare. they want YOU to move out of THEIR way. um. ok. i feel that people like this are the same people who do not give up their seat for old people/pregnant women on the subway. and all these behaviors DRIVE ME CRAZY. so how have i chosen to combat this? i barrel into them or sometimes yell if i am in a particularly foul mood.

for example, during one of our most recent typhoons, i was going through the mtr (the subway) to the airport with a colleague. it was dumping rain outside and we came to the stairs. since her arms are the size of my index fingers, i helped her with her mammoth case (for 2 days - apparently she packed a lot of "beauty products") and i had mine as well. suddenly, a woman appears and is coming up the stairs right in my path. NOBODY else is around yet she marches up to me and stops and stares - like "get out of MY way". so what do i do? i barrel into her and yell, "what the fuck!" she moves over but continues to throw me nasty looks. lady, do you not see me wet as a sewer rat with two pieces of luggage? you move, nasty old cow.

coming in at second place is: the people who do not hold doors.
now this would be ALL of HONG KONG. i am not kidding. nobody holds doors for anyone and they certainly are not letting women out of elevators first. yes, in hong kong not only is chivalry dead but so is general respect for man kind. i have actually seen men and women alike open the door a crack just for themselves and their tiny fish-only-eating bodies to come through. and the best is those people who hurry up to sneak through the door behind someone else so they dont have to touch it at all. now talk about NO EFFORT. hey, thanks for comin'. jerks.

and third and final is: the nose pickers and loogie spitter.
how wonderfully clean i find this one. i guess it has improved a lot since sars (three cheers for sars - hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray!) but it still happens and i find it ironic. this is a city that has signs in elevators that are covered in disposable plastic wrap with posted signs up that read "sanitize every two hours". there is disinfecting hand lotion at the entrance of many work buildings yet people feel it is completely ok to not just pick but "dig for gold" (as me mum would say) just standing there on the sidewalk with no shame whatsoever.

a while back, i was doing a free day at a local gym and in a full yoga class. as i was making my decision to join or not to join, i hear this man clearing his throat. in he was doing it in such a violent manner, i'd say he managed to pull up his toe-jam through his body and out his mouth as he spat it all on the floor behind me. and guess what? i didnt join the gym. shocker.

and in honorable mention is: the squatters in the ladies room.
now this is confusing and so contradictory. the women here do not like to sit on the loo so they squat and pee all over the seat instead. because that seems WAY more sanitary to me. that is why often times i have gone into public toilets and they have a "toilet" with areas for your feet where you can stand. i am sure most of these delicate asian flowers thighs cannot hold them up to hover so instead they just stand. and what? pee all over their leg? now that makes sense.

but wait, this is supposed to be the worlds next super power? yeah, i believe that one. to my credit, i havent subscribed to the "if you cant beat 'em, join 'em" motto yet and i hope not to ever. i certainly dont think youll find me picking my nose on the street anytime soon. and if you do, please stop me.

Sickness Makes Life so much more Clear

there is nothing better than getting sick to knock your ass back into reality. sorry if i have been mia lately but between getting sick, working in this shite market, and traveling to scary "developed countries" (manila is my next trip and i hear they have a penchant for kidnapping us citizens...) has taken a toll on me. not to mention the vat of alcohol i drink almost daily. however, sickness has helped me turn over a new, healthier leaf.

i went hiking for the first time the other day during a bank holiday recently (pics to come). it was so fantastic and i saw how beautiful hong kong can be. we hiked through the new territories and ended up at a beach where you can only get there by walking (ie no taxi or bus or anything) so it was not very busy. the sand was so soft and there were some nice waves. if i closed my eyes long and hard enough, it almost felt like we were on a proper holiday. then we took a boat back to kowloon, had some dinner and came back into hong kong. was a wonderful day and i felt a bit healthier exercising my body versus my drinking arm for a change.

and my friend from australia is coming back next week so that means another free week at the four seasons!!! there are a few work dinners i can freeload off of and of course there is always the pool and turn down service...what a life! now if only i had a good territory that had money to spend, life would be grand.

more to come - hopefully - drop me a line people - feel so OUT OF TOUCH with the states!

xo,
e

In Jakarta and Scared Shitless

before i came here everyone said "be careful, be careful, have your wits about you" blah blah blah. i thought, ok, sure there are lots of muslims here but i am a firm believer that you cant group an entire country into one huge generalization. muslims arent all "bad" just like all catholics certainly arent all "good". well i have to admit, i am scared shitless. i had to go through a metal detector just to get into the hotel. yep, that is right, the HOTEL. anyway, i am going to meetings and back to the hotel and then to meetings and then i am LEAVING. i ended up booking the hotel car for the entire day tomorrow just because i am so worried about getting around and more importantly getting hijacked to some hill in jakarta and being raped and left for the wolves (are there wolves here?). the kicker is the car is just a bit less than my nightly rate here at le meridien jakarta - go figure.

and to boot, it is still ramadan. i hope i dont forget that i cant drink water or chew gum in public and get arrested. that wouldnt be good. and i forgot my camera but something tells me it is not a huge loss.

wish me luck and if i dont come back, remember that i love you all.

xo,
e

Permanent Holiday

i have heard these tales of people living and working in hong kong and thinking they are on permanent holiday. after this weekend, i know exactly why. on saturday, we pulled our hungover asses out of bed and climbed our way onto the ferry out to lantau island. after a quick trip to mui wo station on lantau, we took a quick bus and got off at cheung sha. there is a beautiful beach (and extremely beautiful for hong kong standards) and a sports "complex" where we stayed and were able to participate in windsurfing (but there was no wind), wake boarding and kayaking. it was really quite cute and sparsely populated oddly enough. see, hong kongers think a 30 minute destination is "sooooo long" of a way to go...ok, that is a cab ride from the uws to alphabet city for me but whatever...i digress. anyway, it was really quite fun and more importantly cheap as chips!!! we hung out all day in the sun and ate at a thai restaurant and stoup - a south african restaurant - next door which were both delish and again, cheap as chips. the thai dinner comprised of way too much food for even 4 hungry westerns and many many drinks (which prompted some to go skinny dipping in the warm water) for approximately only $50 usd.

now despite the fact that i am burned, i had a WONDERFUL time :)
here is a picture of the view from the room:

Swamp Ass and Other Ramblings...

for real - the humidity here is unreal. it is like walking out the door and straight into a bath...it is beyond disgusting and i cannot stand the swamp ass factor.

i guess there isnt much to say other than the market is falling apart and this little lady ain't makin' money whatsoever. how am i gonna keep up my shoe collection? plus i just had to move all my money out of wamu in case that one goes belly up as well - grrrrrrrr.

so it is off to indonesia next week and i am very much so looking forward to that other than the fact that it is ramadan still and they cant even have dirty thoughts during ramadan let along eat...good thing i am not muslim!

i had a friend from australia swing into town for business and it was nice staying at the four seasons for a week especially since the room is bigger than my new junior flat and there is a pool...and room service...and a maid...and turn down service...and...

since coming back, i have had a couple of "bad asia" days but i actually had a very good week - must have had something to do with the little desserts they bring to your room at the four seasons despite the fact that i would have been happier with some solid mexican.

all right kids, that is all i've got.

xo,
e

Managing Expectations

remember when you were a kid and you went back to school the first day after summer with your crisp shirt still with the fold marks in and you had to report on your vacation? you would sit there and hope your summer wasnt totally lame in comparison and wait for the teacher to call on you. you would proudly recant tales about summer camp and learning to jump off the high diving board or of a trip to the cape where you went deep sea fishing and on a whale watch or maybe you even somewhere exciting like florida to go see your gram (that is if youre jewish) and you learned to drive her around in a golf cart! well, i am that lame kid in class that did nothing on my summer vacation and to top it off i probably have an egg salad sandwich for lunch that has been warming up since 8:30 this morning in the coat closest.

it all began with flying middle seat cattle car for 16 hours back to newark from hong kong. i then got ripped off by a gypsy cab to get into the city - spent 3 days in the new york office "working" (because my living heart donor of a sad excuse for a boss would not consider this trip back to see my mother sick from cancer compassionate leave) and then took a 4 hour train up to boston. at my parent's house i drove back and forth to brigham and women's every day to see my mother who unexpectedly ended up back in the hospital with a ripe infection. in between driving 2 hours each day, i would eat lots of au bon pain, take away, watch tv and sleep. yes folks. that is what i did for a full week. i am that loser with the unicorn pencil box and nobody told me unicorns werent cool anymore – this year is the year of the barbie pencil box…damn it! however, the highlights are that my mother is better and back home, i went to a football game with one of my brothers (and saw beckham play-yes, he actually played the full game) and i cooked some rockin' mexican food. i barely drank which was a nice change of pace and i caught up on sleep.

and after that stressful week thus begins my journey again. yesterday, i took a train to a subway to a train to a cab to the office for more "work" and then over night in manhattan (no more karaoke...last week did me in! "maui maui maui!") and a car to the airport for another flight back to hong kong. i dont really mind traveling and doing all this stuff. alone, it is actually fairly easy. however, DIRECTLY in front of me is a screaming child (no, i have not switched seats-who says i am not maternal?!) and i think, "god, if i had to do this with a kid, i would go insane!" and honestly, who am i fooling, i would probably end up leaving the child somewhere by the side of the road...but i digress.

for now, i am back to the mayhem of hk of work and booking b-trips (i think i am off to indonesia next!!!) and of course hk social life of juggling my time between junks and happy hours and trying to keep everyone happy...

so sorry if i missed you this trip, but i hope to see you when i am back for christmas!

xo,

e

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

i am in love. and it is true love - the kind that lasts forever. i have to admit that the old adage of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is completely true. i love manhattan. after being away for two months, i drove in from newark airport (after a 16 hour flight, a middle seat and a 60 dollar cab ride) and it truly hit home. i am in love with manhattan. despite the fact that i am having a blast in hong kong - i will come back - true lovers shouldnt be kept away for too long.

this week of rest and relaxation is what i need. i am always on the go and i very much so want to sit and watch tv (which i dont have in hong kong), get a facial and shop (which i havent done much of either since i was saving for my flat).

so people - give me a ring - my mobile is still active!

xo,
e

Time for a Break

what a weekend...just in time for a break back to the states. i think i clearly need it as things are quickly spiraling out of control. the weekend began early and ended with a bang!

sadly, the most productive thing i did was go to ikea...but what a mess ikea is, i swear. whoever thought a massive building packed with cheap furniture from sweeden would be a good idea should be seriously questioned. places like that make me itch..literally. i wanted to go a bit early to avoid the crowd but i dont think there is such a thing as "avoiding the crowd" in hong kong and to boot, hongkies move at a ridiculously slow pace. so, i ended up buying 3 pieces in the course of 2 hours mostly due to queuing and trying to make sure i got the right question across in as much 2 syllable english as possible. anyway, the boy came with me and thank god he did otherwise i would probably still be there crying and sucking my thumb hiding away on one of their display beds.

however, the rest of the weekend was very non-productive with lots of drinking. beginning on thursday with a "free vodka" event (or what i prefer to call "bad news") to sunday's junk with some serious lesbian action - i'd say it was another interesting one.

for serious people, i need a break...

New Flat!

i found myself a nice flat on hollywood road in sheung wan near all the antique shops and the man mo temple! it is a studio and even though i wanted a 1-bedroom, it is so very cute and has its own PRIVATE roof! that was really the clincher for me. it is larger than my one in manhattan and is the top floor of a 5 floor walk up...buns of steel, my friends.

so here are some pictures and COME SEE ME SOON!

xo,
e

Mum Update

she is having some issues with recovery but the cancer is stage 1 and has not spread so that is good news.

thank you to all who thought/prayed for her.

much love,
e

Lessons Learned from Traveling to KL

you would think i would have this all figured out by now. but apparently i do not. so here are all the lessons i have learned from this trip:

1. do not wear an itsy-tiny-weeny-black polka dot bikini in a muslim country. i was in the the jacuzzi all by my lonesome and enjoying myself quite nicely while staying at the mandarin. then, my relaxation after a very long day was disrupted by a young lad about the age of 14 who came and joined me. he plopped himself down exactly right across from me and just stared. and on top of it, this jacuzzi was a bit odd as it was a large square and very deep but the seats were at an awkward level. so i tried to get comfortable any which way i could. i would go to the corner, the boy copied me. i would float sideways, the boy copied me. i would go down to my chin, the boy copied me...ok, you get the picture. finally, after a game of copy-cat, to my relief, he started to climb out but to my complete shock, he was rockin' a woody. down boy...
2. do ask as many people as possible where you are going. much like hong kong, kl has named its buildings. locals know these buildings and that is good enough for them. but for poor directionally illiterate saps like me - it is next to impossible in finding these buildings and NO google maps does not work.
3. bring something to cover your nose. as i sit here now i am overwhelmed by the smell of B.O. i was on the monorail on the way to another train to the airport and yet another train (apparently they are all owned and operated by different companies and they will not work together - kind of like arguing siblings - from the same family but nobody will play nice together.) anyway, throughout the entire journey, i realized that nobody wears deodorant. cheers for a sensitive nose.
4. always ask for an earlier flight. i was in the loo and i heard "cathay pacific flight to hong kong now ready to board at gate c29" so i jogged down to the gate to see if i could hop on an earlier flight but i discovered you have to yet again go through another security check so that doesn't much work...boooo.
5. do not buy stamps from a machine in a "developing nation". i bought a postcard for my friends back in the new york office and thought "wouldn't it be cool if i could send it from kl instead of hong kong?" so i scoured the airport and found one lone machine that dispenses stamps. i had no clue what i was buying but i picked the most expensive one figuring it was "international". i put my ringgit in and viola...nothing. like a fool, i rang the number on the top of the machine that said to call with any enquiries and found a barely comprehensive man telling me to go to the info desk and ask for my 4 ringgit back. 4 ringgit is like a buck so i decided to let it go...

so anyway, i am back and completely knackered. looking forward to a nice supper and quite night. the weekend is already shaping up to be a bit nuts so i think i will need to preserve myself a bit.

My First SEA Business Trip

here i am, folks, in kuala lumpur. i just arrived in kl and have settled into the mandarin oriental, ordered sushi, am drinking an asahi and watching the us women's basketball and mtv (which i haven't seen in ages). yeah, i could get used to this...anyway, i have a packed day tomorrow and won't have much time to take in the city but i do have a nice view of the petronas twin towers. so it is not too bad - life could definitely be worse.

anyway, another good weekend. i watched the olympics opening on friday with my beau and went out on a junk saturday. saturday night was spent in with a mate who is having girl troubles and i was happy for it as drinking in the sun just kills me...sunday i had a brunch date, did some flat searching (and think i found something) and went for supper and drinks with some girlfriends. it was nothing exciting but it was nice weather and good times spent with great people.

above is a picture from the junk and below are some shots of the lovely toilet in the kl airport (i am just wondering what that hose is for...), and my view of the klcc from my room in the mandarin.

enjoy, kids and all those in new york, i hope to see you all when i am back end of the month!

xo,
e

Asian Mullets

sometimes there are days where i feel like i am in a bad chinese film where the girls hold up their hands over their mouths, look up over the tip of their fingers, look down again and giggle at a high pitched dog calling type way. i have been here now for about six weeks. i have discovered that asian culture (at least that of which i have encountered) is fairly conservative. take for example the way people dress and act socially. there seems to be an emphasis on acting and looking young. in regards to dress, women in their 40s tend to wear little girl dresses with lots of frills, lace and bright shiny shoes with kitten heels. i will try to get some pictures but it is almost the more hello kitten-ish their dress is, the better. and this morning, i was in the elevator with two other women on different floors. both of them had this sick sort of mullet going on and one even had a rockin' perm.

and that is just the outside. dating-wise, people here are BIG fans of group dates or setting people up. but no, they don't just let them go out on their own - heck no! a huge group goes out and everyone sort of whispers about what is going on with the set-up behind held up hands with lots of giggles. the whole situation is quite ridiculous. i was privy to a couple such dates and have to say i was beyond amused. at one group date i had the privilege of getting to sit next to the "couple". one was a local and the other a dude from the states. the local chick would ask amusing questions like, "do you like kittens" and "what is your favorite color" but there was a moment when she took it up a notch and asked, "so how long did you live there" to which the guy responded, "six months" (is six months living or is that just an extended business trip...discuss...). it seemed more like an interview than a date but who am i to judge...just call me judge rowley (which is my new nickname here).

Self-Medicating

good news - the surgery went well. bad news - it has spread. will be back first week in september to take my father's place in helping with my mother's recovery. i will be in manhattan probably before and after as i will have to layover there anyway so why not stay a couple of days, right? anyone have a spare couch?

it beyond sucks being here during all of this. so since i am irish, what do i do? i just get piss ass fucking drunk every night and then i can sleep just fine.

stage 1 - it has spread.

today is a hard day. my mother goes in for surgery in about 14 hours. i feel helpless. i talked to her just now and she was crying and very scared.

i feel ill, i don't want to be here. i should be with her.

The Little Things in Life

i have now been told by my lovely honkie colleague that i am fat, my hair is too long and this morning - it was - "when you first got here it was ok, but now we are starting to see bags under your eyes." it was quite sweet but sadly, true. it is monday morning and i feel like i have been run over. i am beyond tired and my eyes are burning at the glare from this computer and the heavy fluorescent lighting. however, there is no end in sight sadly for my weight gain and huge shopping bag eyes...

let's see - the weekend's recap: friday i went out on a group date. my friend was trying to set up his friend with some chick. it is quite odd here as there seems to be a lot of that here in hk. people are timid and don't want to do one on ones...anyway, it was interesting as the general asian flirting i have noticed is just lame. the dude was originally from la but came over from manhattan and the chick is honkie but educated in canada (me thinks). there is a lot of "sooooooo, what's your favorite color?" and "do you like cats" type action. or there is a bit of juvenille making fun - type flirting. i don't know about you, but i don't really think it is cute to have someone come up and verbally assault me. it is not really a turn on in my opinion but there seems to be a lot of that as well. anyway, after a long night of drinks, i guess this guy assumed he was going to pull some booty so he boldly threw down his platinum amex and sauntered out the door with the lovely lass. i went on to a house warming. the flat is in a new building and quite nice. i drank some "party punch" had a few laughs and went home as i could feel myself quickly turning into a pumpkin.

saturday i headed out to the beach with a friend and the "set-up" guy. there i found out no action was had and he picked up the entire bill without even getting a kiss. i guess he was too drunk and couldn't close the deal. saturday night, i headed out to watch the new zealand/australia rugby match and it was great! i downed about 5 shandies and went onto another drinks. stayed 2 hours and then met up with my beachmates again. we went to a couple of bars in lkf (which i discovered means "drunken westerner" in a very derogatory way) including li dou which i liked (first bar in lkf that i have liked!). it was a top night ended with us at prive and me trying to teach one of the guys how to dance and the other whipping one of his testicles and approaching women. i guess it is his party trick and he even did it at the company christmas party. it was actually pretty funny to see him walking around in a dark club with his one white testicle glowing from the dim lights trying to pick up chicks. i finally walked home at god knows what time barefoot. honestly, it is nothing i would do in manhattan in fear of stepping on some infected needle but hong kong is very safe and clean. i think the bloke who walked me home wanted to come up but i gave him a wink and was off to bed!

sunday i went on my first junk. junks are like party boats run by local restaurants. you drive out, swim, drink and eat. it is quite fun but i was still drunk from the night before. i ended up sobering up around lunch time and threw up twice in the loo down below. sexy...it was fun until it started to storm. the boat rocked and my head and stomach just could not handle it. i was back by 6:30 ish and relaxed after a very busy weekend. despite the fact that i am exhausted and gaining weight, i will be fat and happy as it was another fantastic weekend!

and on a side note, after watching the match, i am in love with a kiwi rugger called dan carter - here his picture - drool:

Hong Kong's Big Hollywood Moment

last night, i went with a mate to times square to see the "batman" movie. one great benefit of the theatres (i've been told now that i am here i must write/speak in "real" english) here are they are all reserved seating, which is quite nice!! all in all, i thought the movie was pretty good on top the fact that christian bale is definitely in my top 10. but i do have to ask, why can't they find a good female for these films? first it was katie holmes (rubbish) and now maggie gyllenhaal - who i typically think is quite good - but proved to be mediocre this turn around. is it that hard to cast a decent female in that character or is the writing really just that bad? but i digress...anyway, the part when they show center building (where morgan freeman goes through security) and then ifc (supposed to be the same building but it is not) where he is up on the roof with the chinese business man - the people in the theatre all squealed with delight at those scenes. it was quite amusing as i have never seem a group of people get more excited over something fairly trivial before in my life. perhaps i just take it for granted that new york is in so many movies - i just cannot imagine getting as excited as they did to see hong kong on the big screen. anyway, that is all i have to say about that.

so besides the fact that i am having massive issues with the bank here, i am in the company flat with a new journalist who not only loves to cook garlic and leave the window and door closed but is a moron as well, i am pms-ing and highly sensitive, all is just dandy...i cry at the drop of a hat - it is great. having a good day...

Feelin' Hot Hot Hot

it is hot here. and i am not talking a bit of heat like manhattan. i am talking some serious tropical heat. like cannot move, cannot go out of the a/c, want to sit down and cry because it is so hot. now maybe number-wise, it is not that bad (only 32 degrees celsius) but like i mentioned, it is tropical so it is different. it looks bright and sunny out but i foresee myself indoors for much of the day. it is ok because yesterday i was outside the whole time. a friend's friend was in town and he was in the four seasons residential penthouse so we went over for a little pool action and a bbq. the suite has its own pool and jacuzzi so there was no need to mix with the riff-raff in the commoners pool. it was tons of fun but midday drinking in the sun is a bit too much for me. we went from the suite to prive, another "member's only" club, of which again, i was fairly unimpressed by. i don't know, i'm just not into these memeber's only who-ha clubs but i still had fun but it wa a looooong day.

here are some pics from saturday:

Don't Mess with Me, I'm Scrappy

yet another huge thursday...another 4 am morning and yet another desperate friday. but last night was special because i got into a fight with chick. we were at dusk til dawn - some dodgy bar in even more dodgy wan chai (where all the hookers are) - and i am many many cocktails in. we were standing in a circle chatting and this chick rudely pushes through flailing her arms and all that jazz. so what do i do? i shove her in the back. i mean, come on, no need to be a complete b*tch. and then she turns around and kicks me in the shins! hahahhahaaha! it was classic. she then went up to the bouncer and tried to get me tossed but it did not work. he didn't say anything to me at all and i kept on dancing. however, had she actually stuck around and not scurried off, she would have been toast. i am klassy...don't mess with me.

and today marks the first morning i got...um...sick in the ladies loo. again, klassy...

It's Called Work cuz it ain't Easy

calling south east asia is ridiculous. first, you need to hope the company has a website. then, if it actually has one, you try to figure out where they are located. if you can even find that much, perhaps they put up their senior people. my gosh, they do. at that point, you try to call or email but cannot decipher the name. is it first name last, is it first name first? are they muslim or are they thai chinese? what to you call them? are they a dato? ok, your nice chinese colleague has helped you out so you give a ring. it rings. it rings. it rings. it rings. it stops. nothing. no voicemail. nothing. i say, "people aren't so big into voicemail here, huh?" and he politely says, "uhhhhh, not so much, no." it is a never ending ordeal and a bit more frustrating than i anticipated. not to mention i completely got the shit end of the stick for my territory. my letters in hk are c, f, o and z. and someone actually tried to tell me that z is a good letter to have in chinese. um, ok...it's not. neither is f or o for that matter.

i sort of knew what i was getting myself into and it is one thing to say, "it is ok, i will go and do my thing, not be bothered by it" but for me, that is easier said than done especially when it becomes so apparent you have been ripped off.

ok, that is my vent for the day...need to get over it and move on - let's go make some money!

Culture

although i had a thursday, friday and saturday out, i mean big time OUT, i finally got a bit of culture. i saw "wanted" with angelina jolie. i kid, i kid. actually, i am not joking, i did see it. but the culture of which i am referring to is that i went to kowloon and saw the "walled city". and it kind of disappointed me to be quite honest. however, the perks were that i finally picked up an octopus card (they are metro cards but also you can use them to buy groceries, much needed junk at a 7-eleven, etc.) and i took the mtr for the first time. the mtr, by the way is so nice and clean. it is very easy to use and i must say, the anti-public transportation girl that i am, i am impressed. however, it still doesn't mean i want to take it everyday...

anyway, per my previous post, my first visitor came and it is hard to entertain when you do not know the city yet. friday and saturday nights consisted of drinking but saturday and sunday afternoons there was a little sightseeing action that happened. on friday, my friend showed up and met up as of course, i was out at a bar in soho. we stayed out with one of my coworkers and just had a total blast laughing and talking about travel, work, telling stories and rating hot chicks. then saturday was spent walking around the central, midlevels area. of course, i ran into someone i met earlier (man, this city really is small) and at night, we headed out for my coworker's birthday party. the venue was supposed to be a beach but since the weather wasn't good, it was held at a bar in lan kwai fung. there i met a bunch of great people. there was a mix of mostly brits and americanos but i guess the funniest part is that i got along better with the brits than the americanos. there was a girl from jersey and 2 brothers from long island. one of the two brothers was quite nice but the chick from jersey didn't seem like she wanted much to do with me. that is ok because she had a sick perm and looked semi-desperate with her saggy twins out on display. and the other brother - i hate to say this but he for sure gives americans a bad name - loud, obnoxious, close-minded and the ability to only talk about the thai whores he met last week. anyway, after a bit at one place, we ventured onto another bar where we did jello shots (i actually spit mine back into the cup - i know, klassy) and a pole from the ceiling of which one may hang from while intoxicated. it really took pole dancing to a whole new level. the whole scene really was like a very bad frat party with 80's music. so needless to say, we took off kind of early - maybe 1ish?? the next day, i slept in (am such a bad host) and my friend ventured off for some sightseeing. we met up later and had some "culture" including kowloon's walled city and "wanted". again, the walled city was not what i expected and neither was "wanted" but angelina did look pretty hot.

on a side note, there was another interesting "culture" moment when we were sitting and waiting for the movie to begin. an ad for whitening treatments flashed in front of us. and i'm not talking about teeth. both myself and my guest were mortified. women here are big into "whitening" their skin. it is part a class thing and part a western thing. class in the sense that in the "olden days" it was the poor working class who were in the fields working and therefore more tan. and now it has morphed into asian women wanting to look more western. sick. it was especially since i am obviously not white (at least not on the outside) and neither is my panamanian friend.

i have to say, all in all, it was another great weekend.

Another Friday

it is yet another friday and i am yet again, supremely hungover. last night i went out to the armani bar with colleagues in the ifc and yes, it is eurotash here too. we tied a few on there for about 16 bucks a pop...well worth it...not really...in the slightest. and then we moved onto lan kwai fong - the premier drinking district for expats - to a bar called le jardin. it was ok, a bit like b-bar and definitely the same kind of scene...which would be a lame one. and finally, we ended up at m1nt with is a members only bar. there are a lot of those here. you need to get a membership and i've heard its quite pricey. but to be honest, the place was a nice venue but the crowd was totally lame. it was full of tossers and i am not quite sure what the big deal is. it kind of reminded me of a bad junior high school dance. regardless of the crowd, a colleague and i shut the place down around 4 am...trouble.

all in all i drank probably about 12 to 14 cocktails and miraculously didn't black out! i did however bust my ass to get into work on time (or close enough- 8:40) to find that everyone else waltzed in at 9:30 or later. my one mate who was out with me until the end showed his mug at 10:40 - what a nancy! however, there is sadly no reward for being on time after a late thursday especially when the boss is away.

however, on another note - i have my first visitor coming! yippie :) my friend who has been traveling through asia for the last month or so is due in tonight. he emailed me saying he booked a hotel in shenzhen which is in mainland china and it just dawned on him that he might need a visa - which he did not get...oh boy, this is going to be fun. i am sure i'll get a call around 3 am telling me he's been "inspected" for the last 6 hours by a small chinese man with 6 fingers on each hand...regardless, this is coming at a great time as my mother is sick and i am in need of a little moral support from a nice friend.

ok kids, it is almost noon for me and we all know what that means - nap time! have a good weekend and please, don't do anything i would do - all it has done so far is get me in boatloads of trouble...

For All You Complainers

i have changed the comment setting so now anyone can comment and i do not think you need to register anymore. now i don't want anymore whinging!

just kidding...i love that all 2 of you are reading the blog and that you actually want to comment - how cool.

i am hung like a moose today. i feel like i am in a state of perpetual drunkenness/hang over...but the best part about being so close to work - lunch time naps. ahhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaah.

and on a completely side note, i was told i should get a live-in. ok, i am one person. one somewhat small and rather tidy person and i do not need a live-in. but the scariest part - they get paid about $350 a month. i think that would be totally illegal in the states. most expats here have 2...

Duped

i was totally duped by tv editing...but i still can't wait to get home, continue my loser streak and watch it on youtube! also it seems deanna might be a rocky road kinda girl after all - nice to have one more join the club ;)

lovin' la vida loca,
e

Huge Dork

when i was hungover this past weekend, i wasted a lovely saturday afternoon in watching bad "yank" television on my laptop. (this post is off to a promising start...) and now i MUST find out what happens with "the bachelorette". i caught up a bit on youtube since abc blocks anyone outside the us from viewing their online episodes so let's give a little "amen!" for youtube? A-MEN. anyway, i am now aware that the finale of "the bachelorette" is on tonight - your tonight, not mine, sadly. so in anticipation of the finale - here is my prediction: jason (earth shattering, i know). he is the single dad who is kinda cute in that NGB (nice guy but...) sort of way. and i do think that is exactly what she, deanna wants - an NGB. he's good in theory but doesn't really get the juices flowin', if you know what i mean ;) according to a post i just read - she made it clear after her previous "the bachelor" fiasco with that trashy texan that she wanted stability and that is what jason is - stability - or the man version of "vanilla ice cream". vanilla is to ice cream as what an NGB is to men. sure vanilla is an ok flavor and you could be happy with vanilla for the rest of your life if that is all you know. but let's say one day you get a taste of mint chocolate chip or rocky road OR, dare i say, dilbert's world totally nuts (and yes, that was a real ben & jerry's ice cream flavor, it was limited release and my favorite - so chew on that!)? after a taste of all those exciting flavors, your world is completely flipped upside down! you can't believe what you've been missing all this time and you can't stop yourself - TOTALLY NUTS! i want more of this, baby.

so, what am i sayin'? vanilla is fine. it is cold, refreshing on a hot day, somewhat satisfying and won't give you any grief. if that is what you want - i say embrace it, but for me, i would prefer to be totally nuts.

wow, did i just write a whole post on "the bachelorette" and ice cream semi-simultaneously? for real? man, i am a L-O-S-E-R.

let me make it up to you...here is a picture - eat up, ladies ;)

You're Kidding, Right?

today i was supposed to go wake boarding again but due to heavy rain, we didn't go. my spaniard friend and i grabbed some lunch and hung out for a bit - dvd shopping (i picked up 2 pirated dvds for about 8 usd total!), walking around the city and just chillin'.

i came back looking forward to a nice night in as last night was another bang up evening (birthday party at goccia). i wanted to cook for once and do some laundry. seeing as i have no clue how to work the washer and there are no directions, i just sort of winged it. too much time went by so i went to check it out. yep, ALL my stuff completely ruined. i am most upset about two of my best bikinis destroyed. i am beyond pissed. i even tried boiling them (i read online it worked...don't ask) but they are still a blue-ish color and look disgusting. so tomorrow i am going to hit up pacific place and look for new ones because i can't even handle it. i am so upset. a big booooooooooo for foreign washers...

so in the meantime, check out the rain. the picture doesn't quite do it justice but buckets of rain were falling today.

Lessons Learned

so far, the hardest thing about hk is staying in for a night. after a bang up thursday, all i wanted to do was have a fat friday. unfortunately, i was asked out by a colleague and there is this certain amount of pressure to go. however, i think i need to learn to say no every once in a while.

i also learned a new term last night. MBA - married but available. it is quite charming, no? it seems that a large percentage of men here (at least the ones that party) are all married. their wives live in the states or japan or europe and the men here go out and play. and the set i was with last night all seemed to live in the four seasons. so i am guessing that they all make enough money to keep their wives happy and have them turn a bit of a blind eye. despicable.

i did have fun but i feel quite ill today and i'm not sure it was completely worth it. i've been drinking non-stop and eating very little. my stomach already feels like i have burned a great huge hole in it and i suppose i can slow down or i can just try to get used to it. what do you think i'll do?

Mrs. Robinson

that took long...it is a friday and i am at work and still drunk. i started the morning with a slap on my ass by my colleague in the lobby (good to know some things about work never change regardless of where you are), had to be held up by the lift doors, walked into the office and immediately spilled water all over my colleague's desk and laptop all while apologizing and smelling like a liquor cabinet. so what led me to all this grace and charm you ask? i went out last night in soho with another americana and drank way too much - i did shots - i made out with a boy one month older than my little brother. i am disgusted with myself already and the weekend hasn't even officially begun.

but have a HAPPY 4th of july, mates :)

The Relocation Rollercoaster

i have moved before. i have moved to london and known absolutely nobody or anything. i have moved to manhattan where i didn't know anyone either. now i wouldn't exchange either move for anything but at the same time, i suppose that is why i hesitated with hong kong. starting over again is just so physically and emotionally difficult. and i know, some days are going to be great (like tuesday) and some days will be just rubbish (like today).

last night, one of my colleagues came over to pick up some of his things from the company flat and we had a really good chat. it was very nice of him, but it also got to me. it hit me down where i've been avoiding on going - to the dark side. he told me about how hard it was for him when he moved and what he did to try and just get out there. he said to let him know if i'm ever lonely and want to just hang out. it was quite nice and meant a lot to me. but the after effect today is i have started to feel where the first few days i just tried to remain as busy as possible to avoid feeling anything at all. i woke up this morning actually physically feeling the loneliness. it hurts in my chest up high almost into my throat. it is tight and hard and feels like at any minute i could just explode into a bought of tears.

hopefully tomorrow will be different but i feel like this is the beginning of a very long emotional roller coaster ride for the next couple of months...

My version of 4th of July

i have reconciled that yesterday was my version of 4th of july since i am obviously missing it in the states. that being said, i am glad it was a great day. it was a bank holiday here in hk so i started my day out meeting up with a new friend at pacific place. pacific place is very posh mall and i felt like a dirty american scrub wandering around in my beach gear. oh well, they'll get over it. we drove to the other side of the island and met up with 2 more people for some wake boarding in tia tam bay. it was a total blast! i've never been wake boarding before but got up first try!! we did that for a couple of hours and then left to go to the amc (aberdeen marina club) to meet up with two more folks. there we climbed onto lars' cabin cruiser which i've told is good because it goes faster than a yacht but still has some of the same amenities. good to know...anyway, we moved onto repulse bay for some wake surfing with two more folks. we docked lars' boat and climbed aboard for more hours in the water. at one charming point the booming p.a. announced, "the water is polluted. all life rescue services are closed." lovely. we kept on anyway. wake surfing is the best. it is like wake boarding but much less work. you ride the wake of the boat and are just pushed along by the wake.

anyway, after a LOOOOOOOOONG day out, we went all the way back around the island (it only took about 30 minutes but without working boat lights - it was interesting!!) to causeway bay. there we had supper at the royal yacht club and enjoyed the warm breeze, some wine and view of kowloon.

now despite the severe aches and pains in my back, shoulders and arms, it was completely worth it! all in all, an incredible day and i wish all days were like that...

Best Days

hands down the best day i've had in a long time. i mean, years. more details to follow tomorrow but as of now i am knackered and headed off to dream about the day that was today.

Ain't It Funny

it is so crazy to find out (especially over email) that an entire year of your life was a mirage. when people are truly tested, the strong make it through to the end or the others just don't have the substance to do it. i think you find out who really are your friends and who really loves you when the tough times come around. but i have to say, i never thought that at the brink of one of the most difficult times in my life, the person i trusted and loved the most would desert me when i was down.

Le Weekend

saturday night i went out with a colleague to a "proper dress party" with a a theme of "heros and villains". i went as bananaman (and it needs to be said with british accent since, as i am told, it was an old british cartoon of a boy named eric who eats a banana and turns into a superhero) in a yellow dress. it was pouring on saturday and i had no desire to trek the streets of hk looking for costume kit so this was the resolution we came to. we hit up a couple of "white bars" called heat and mes amis both in the wanchai district. and no, heat is not a gay club although i did tell my colleague it certainly sounded that way. anyway, it was good fun and i got completely zonked. i also met loads of nice brits but was told time and time again that i should lose my "american twang". oh well, whatcha gonna do?

on sunday, with a complete hangover, i left the hotel with all 200 lbs. of luggage and went to the company flat. it is much better as it is a hop skip and a jump from the office but my room is beyond tiny and it smells of cigarette smoke despite the fact that it is a smoke free apartment. i should be there for a couple of months so at least that feels a bit more settled than being in a hotel. to date, there are 2 girls there, one whom is quite spunky but leaving tomorrow and the other who tends to keep to herself and i believe she is leaving mid-july. hmmmm, wouldn't it be nice to have it all to myself and then i can have proper naked time...