Manner-isms

it wouldnt be work if something didnt operate properly. today the phones are down. we cannot make any outgoing calls nor can we receive any incoming calls. there is nothing better than a newsroom without phones...no interviews to hold, no sales calls to make - cool. so as others go out for coffee or to do an ever important "errand" or socialize, i would like to discuss something uniquely hong kong - bad manners.

in first place and a personal favorite of mine is: some people will come up to you, stop and stare at you in the middle of the sidewalk instead of moving a bit to the left or the right.
yes, i am serious. people can be so rude here. often times you can be going down the street and your path will cross someone else's. instead of you both diverging, the person will come right into your face, stop and stare. they want YOU to move out of THEIR way. um. ok. i feel that people like this are the same people who do not give up their seat for old people/pregnant women on the subway. and all these behaviors DRIVE ME CRAZY. so how have i chosen to combat this? i barrel into them or sometimes yell if i am in a particularly foul mood.

for example, during one of our most recent typhoons, i was going through the mtr (the subway) to the airport with a colleague. it was dumping rain outside and we came to the stairs. since her arms are the size of my index fingers, i helped her with her mammoth case (for 2 days - apparently she packed a lot of "beauty products") and i had mine as well. suddenly, a woman appears and is coming up the stairs right in my path. NOBODY else is around yet she marches up to me and stops and stares - like "get out of MY way". so what do i do? i barrel into her and yell, "what the fuck!" she moves over but continues to throw me nasty looks. lady, do you not see me wet as a sewer rat with two pieces of luggage? you move, nasty old cow.

coming in at second place is: the people who do not hold doors.
now this would be ALL of HONG KONG. i am not kidding. nobody holds doors for anyone and they certainly are not letting women out of elevators first. yes, in hong kong not only is chivalry dead but so is general respect for man kind. i have actually seen men and women alike open the door a crack just for themselves and their tiny fish-only-eating bodies to come through. and the best is those people who hurry up to sneak through the door behind someone else so they dont have to touch it at all. now talk about NO EFFORT. hey, thanks for comin'. jerks.

and third and final is: the nose pickers and loogie spitter.
how wonderfully clean i find this one. i guess it has improved a lot since sars (three cheers for sars - hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray!) but it still happens and i find it ironic. this is a city that has signs in elevators that are covered in disposable plastic wrap with posted signs up that read "sanitize every two hours". there is disinfecting hand lotion at the entrance of many work buildings yet people feel it is completely ok to not just pick but "dig for gold" (as me mum would say) just standing there on the sidewalk with no shame whatsoever.

a while back, i was doing a free day at a local gym and in a full yoga class. as i was making my decision to join or not to join, i hear this man clearing his throat. in he was doing it in such a violent manner, i'd say he managed to pull up his toe-jam through his body and out his mouth as he spat it all on the floor behind me. and guess what? i didnt join the gym. shocker.

and in honorable mention is: the squatters in the ladies room.
now this is confusing and so contradictory. the women here do not like to sit on the loo so they squat and pee all over the seat instead. because that seems WAY more sanitary to me. that is why often times i have gone into public toilets and they have a "toilet" with areas for your feet where you can stand. i am sure most of these delicate asian flowers thighs cannot hold them up to hover so instead they just stand. and what? pee all over their leg? now that makes sense.

but wait, this is supposed to be the worlds next super power? yeah, i believe that one. to my credit, i havent subscribed to the "if you cant beat 'em, join 'em" motto yet and i hope not to ever. i certainly dont think youll find me picking my nose on the street anytime soon. and if you do, please stop me.