i have moved before. i have moved to london and known absolutely nobody or anything. i have moved to manhattan where i didn't know anyone either. now i wouldn't exchange either move for anything but at the same time, i suppose that is why i hesitated with hong kong. starting over again is just so physically and emotionally difficult. and i know, some days are going to be great (like tuesday) and some days will be just rubbish (like today).
last night, one of my colleagues came over to pick up some of his things from the company flat and we had a really good chat. it was very nice of him, but it also got to me. it hit me down where i've been avoiding on going - to the dark side. he told me about how hard it was for him when he moved and what he did to try and just get out there. he said to let him know if i'm ever lonely and want to just hang out. it was quite nice and meant a lot to me. but the after effect today is i have started to feel where the first few days i just tried to remain as busy as possible to avoid feeling anything at all. i woke up this morning actually physically feeling the loneliness. it hurts in my chest up high almost into my throat. it is tight and hard and feels like at any minute i could just explode into a bought of tears.
hopefully tomorrow will be different but i feel like this is the beginning of a very long emotional roller coaster ride for the next couple of months...
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